A single Girls Guide to Happiness!

Why do My Relationships fail?


(Melissa Holder)

I am trying to become a better person all my relationships fail and am always hearing I have an attitude problem...I recently came out of a situation with a guy we were dating for 2 years but he has a woman I ended up pregnant now we have a 4 week old daughter

I thought I was over him but sense I am seeing him more now the baby is born all those feelings have came back..we parted ways because I was over the idea of waiting for him to leave his woman for me

and I started doing my own thing to get over him (partying, hanging out late with friends) he said I did not care about him and I hurt him...how can I hurt him if he is with a woman he is not letting go I am very confused cause he has blamed me for everything...how do I get over him and stop blaming myself for what has happened between him and I ?

Victoria Grant's ANSWER

Dear Melissa

Thank you so much for your honesty in this matter and I commend you for making the effort to become a better person.

The key to having a healthy relationship with someone else is that you 'Must' first have a wonderful relationship with yourself... If you feel the need to ever settle for 'second best' at anything including the partners you choose to become intimate with then you are displaying little or no self worth.

In life we are all responsible for how we allow others to treat us by the way we treat ourselves, It seems as though your baby's father is doing the things he does because up until now he has been permmited to do so. You choose to make him a priority while to him you were only an option.

You and your daughter deserve to be treated no less than royalty by any man who enters your life! If he has not left his woman for you then it is up to you to now take matters in to your own hands and decide what you are willing to accept.

Never let anyone guilt trip you in to believing that you are the cause of all of the issues as you are not totally to blame 'it takes two to tango.' Maybe up until now you have had the wrong attitude, finding love in hopeless places like we all have from time to time but that can now all change.

You mentioned that you started doing your own thing to break away including ''partying and hanging out' I would advise that if you are truly ready to part ways with this toxic relationship and better yours and your child's future that you choose to do things of 'substance' when doing your own thing.

Things that include learning, getting mentally, spiritually, physically fit, starting a business that you can run from home if necessary and focusing on positive aspects of your life that will elevate you to a higher level.

Only then when you are complete and fully happy in yourself can another person bring joy and love to you in ways you never experienced before.

Save the love you have left for you and your daughter and make real moves towards the life of your dreams.

If you have not already done so then please see the 'Recommended' page on this website 'tab on the left' and read the FREE ebooks available on 'Raising balanced children and 'Keys to unlocking your Power' for more useful tips.

And don't forget to also read ''The seven steps to success and ''A Girls guide to being Outstanding''

Hope this helps!

Love and Light



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